It’s my birthday…well for another 45 minutes anyways…
And can I just say how much I LOVE my birthday. Anyone who knows me well knows a few things about me! 1) That my love language is gifts 🙂 Like seriously….someone gave me a chocolate bar and I was beyond excited!! 2) I love Christmas, and 3) I LOVE my birthday (and birthdays in general..)
Some people hate birthdays because it means they are getting older, but not me! Seriously, in what other situation do you get to celebrate you ALL DAY! ..does that make me sound super selfish and self centered? haha! Hope not!
Anyways, I woke up this morning and I felt like a kid in a candy store, other than the fact that I was exhausted after a week/weekend of being a crazy busy dance mom, my first thought was, I feel so good and can’t wait to start my birthday! I laid in bed and decided that I was going to do whatever I wanted today. Housework was going to wait, laundry, dealing with the endless list of to-do’s that I always seem to have, and honestly, I wish I could apply that policy to everyday because today was amazing!
I played with my younger two kids today, I watched TV, I had a friend call and ask me to go for lunch/a drive, I went to the city and had supper with my parents to celebrate mine and my mom’s birthday (which are only 5 days apart). I bought myself a treat…and I don’t feel bad about it… I watched my dad teach my oldest kiddo to play chess, watched my daughter laugh in hysterics at the antics of her friends grandpa, and I enjoyed the cuddles of my baby as he snuggled into my shoulder when he was tired, and of course I can’t forget receiving beautiful gifts from my family, which I’ve already told you are things that I love! Not to mention all the personal messages from people wishing me a happy birthday; seriously what isn’t to love?!
What a day…I’m not a fan of being older, however, I try and remind myself that I’m not getting older, just wiser…. right? isn’t that what people say?…
Anyways, I was driving back home tonight and I started thinking about my birthday one year ago. A whole lot has changed since then. Last year, I was stressed out, I was ignoring some things that were really bugging me, I was pregnant, and I was struggling. I thought I was happy, I thought that life would play out a lot differently this year, I wondered if I really had people who loved me, I wondered how ‘close’ my close friends were, and I had no idea what was coming in just a few short months. I had a rough year…The me of last year would have said that I wasn’t capable of providing and taking care of 3 kids on my own. She would have broken down in absolute fear and anxiety thinking about being alone, and her identity was wrapped up in what other people thought of her. This year, I am different. I am happy, I have sad moments but overall I am happy because my faith has been challenged and has stood strong, because I have overcome a lot. I am more confident in my abilities. I still don’t love being alone, but I know I can do it. I care what others think of me, but my identity is not wrapped up in that. I feel confident in who I am and who God has made me (although I’m sure that will be challenged, and I will have to work at keeping it that way), I have seen that I am unbelievably loved and have had a community of people prove it, and I have realized I am strong!
I am excited for this next year…excited for the chances to become wiser and stronger, and excited for the hard times and excited for the good times! I am so excited to see what comes next!
For the last time this year… Happy Birthday to me!